amalthya | At a Crossroads...

Wednesday 11:36 am

Maybe it's because, as someone who read my most recent flurry of posts said, I'm going crazy and I'll have imaginary friends next... or maybe it's because I've had a lot of isolation time to mull things over... or maybe it's because being in Goma has increased my homesickness exponentially.

But, I've been thinking a lot about what comes next. In addition, of course, to being excited for my trip home at the end of March.

Previously, I'd sort of thought that I'd go back to Maryland and continue my path of working in design + primatology/conservation. But I've got to consider that perhaps I won't always find employment that blends those two components together. Sure, there are avenues that seem idyllic now, but are they really practical?

I think eventually, I'll have to choose which direction I'm going to go in. Primatology -- academia, science, lots and lots and lots of schooling

Or Design/PR/Marketing -- need more training, probably better paid but perhaps more soulless?

So, in the LJ tradition, I'll be indecisive and look to my friends for their potentially less-obscured vision of my future. Because right now, I'm feeling somewhat deluged with possibilities.

The Life Goal Poll!

Please note, that the timeline of these options is "when I get back from Uganda" as opposed to "sometime in my life"

[Poll #654699]

Anyway, I'd really appreciate people's opinions on the matter. Please try not to flame me for "leaving my life in the hands of others" since clearly, when it comes down to it, the choice is mine.

Oh, and I also discovered today that I'm getting reimbursed for all my various visa travails which is incredibly comforting, considering I'm po'ass right now. Phew!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Honestly, I wouldn't base your opinion on graduate school based on Mike's posts; opinions and experiences vary from person to person, but at the very least he only seems to post when things are really bad (which makes sense in the venting kind of way), and you don't really get to hear about the good experiences. I know I whine and bitch alot (but mostly because I'm tired or feeling sickly; I almost never think about giving up), so I may not be a great example, either. But I find

gatsbys_regret's enthusiasm for grad school inspiring, as I do

gavriela's.

Really, worry is one thing, but you never know unless you try. Some of my classes since undergrad have sucked. But sometimes you get a great class/teacher who changes your perspective on things and you're more passionate and driven than ever before. Unfortunately you've gotta take the good with the bad in academia (well, with anything, really). I think the surest first step is to analyze how you feel about the idea of school again -- is it fear you mostly feel? dread? Or other? (you don't have to answer to me, but you should to yourself)

Btw, how long would vet tech education last? I'm not sure what it is, exactly, and how it varies from veterinary schooling in general.

And again, this is my totally biased opinion, but I wouldn't have suggested NYC anyway, regardless of social situation. But that stems from my personal distaste with the idea of living in the city again full-time. Why not MD, where you seemed so happy? NYC may seem easier, but MD may make you happier.

Remember that I have a year of undergrad left to go! Hence my proclivity for staying at Columbia -- I've already been to three undergrad universities (eek) and I've been told I can head back there whenever I'm ready -- I liked being at a school with smart-people in my classes, and I loved the campus... So yea, Maryland makes me happy, but there aren't any SCHOOLS in Maryland that would make me happy...

So anyway, being an undergrad, and THEN doing graduate school etc etc... You can see why it might feel slightly overwhelming. I mean, it's just a vast quantity of school!! But I could certainly consider grad schools closer to MD. That'd be good.

I'm pretty sure I could finish vet tech'ing in a year. I'm doing it more for the background than anything else, so that I have more animal handling opportunities available to me.

Now, in terms of school, I certainly don't feel dead to it. And funnily, after watching When Harry Met Sally I really liked the idea of being on my own in NYC again. I like new experiences, and well, I haven't been in school for so long that right now, it certainly seems "new".

But yea, the social aspect is... troubling.

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Hehe. Higher education is such a scam ;) We're expected to take on adult roles as early as 15 and yet expected to keep learning until we're thirty? Student loans? Whhat?

*laughing*

And yes, I have received very positive response from unnamed people in NYC who are mutual friends about my return -- but like, Montien? Movie Night? Inescapable drama? Plus just generalized sadness!

No, I won't let one person dictate, but the more you talk about it, the more doable it seems :) I just need to get my ducks in a row.

*QUACK!*

One year is such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things :) (as you know, since more than half your time in Africa is over already!) It'll fly, especially while doing things you love. Plus you never know what's going to happen... hell, think about it this way: really, how could things get WORSE with the situation? ;)

*QUACK*^2

Did I forget to mention I'm pregnant with Brad's lovechild?

HA! You make it too easy ;) Seriously, you're right. A year is nothing. Plus, I could try and get my Broadway groove on while I was there. And freeze my tuckus off!

I'm really really looking forward to being home in March/April. Even though it's like, 3 months away. Silly, huh?

Not silly :) Totally understandable! Still, I would say live in the moment more... you already know you're going to go back to the US soon, dwelling on it is not going to make it happen any sooner :) Enjoy your time in DRC while you still have it! It's quite possible you may never come back :)

I feel slightly defensive, but just cause I've gotta say that most of the time, I'm not dwelling on this outside of in-cyberspace :)

And I'm definitely not planning on coming home early. I'd never *EVER* do that - I'd never forgive myself, and wow, just no :P

Sorry, just had to clarify!

No, no, that's not what I meant. I meant, you may mentally spend half your time thinking about and pining over home if you feel homesick, thinking about the trip back home in March, that you may not put your whole self into your current experience. That's all I meant. And I describe this from personal experience, and the tinge of regret felt later. That's all. But if you don't feel homesick outside your time in cyberspace, ignore what I say altogether...

Ohh, okay *enlightened*

And if I'm honest, it's a little more time than just cyberspace *grin*

But it's not the bulk of my time... I got my period today, which I think, at least for me, explains a lot of my angst. Sleeping more is definitely in order, and maybe eating something other than apples and ramen :D

Your support on this all, btw, has just been kickass and totally invaluable

Personally, I find

gatsbys_regret's enthusiasm for grad school proof that he needs a life.

Meh! :P You can't fool me; you're passionate about academia and LOVE it! I imagine so many people live their lives without the kind of passion you have, and so I'll keep drawing inspiration from it, thankyouverymuch ;)

Like we need additional proof?

At a Crossroads...

The Life Goal Poll!

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