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The Power of Breasts
Countless times this week I've thought that it might be nicer to be a guy in this scenario. I got thwarted in my timeline countless occasions by my inability to lift things by myself.
There were so many things to lift! And they were all so heavy! I consumed most of my non-lifting time with Nostalgic Triaging. I basically went through things I'd saved for a million years and decided whether they really needed to be saved anymore.
This of course included just about every letter I've ever received, or card, and even some notes I'd written in classes, or letters I'd written and never sent. Seriously, one day, I will have the best collection of memories ever. Not like I don't already.
Among the highlights was some stuff from 1986 (6 years old) -- a hand-written journal for school. In pencil and crayon.
It also had an extensive section on the naughtiness of smuggling animals. I was six. Seriously, did someone think my line of work came out of left field? I was very amused in re-reading it all. Unsurprisingly, I kept most of that stuff.
Anyway, there came a point where I had no more things to triage. And I needed man-lifting. But those rascal men, they were (noticeably) missing! It was sad, and I was delayed. Poor![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
noranac has been waiting for her new bed for DAYS now!
Today, however, Jim came over and was an absolute muscle-man champ, lifting and sweating and carrying things without my even asking. The TV, as many of you remember (or at the very least, your backs remember,) is FUCKING HEAVY. It's a 36" CRT Sony WEGA, and it weighs about 250 lbs with most of the weight in the front. Additionally, the hand holds are like daggers. Whoever designed the TV just forgot to attach the Wartenberg wheel.
There was no way even with Jim that the TV was getting into the van. But there were these two guys sitting out on a stoop across the street. So I hitched up the boobs, walked over, and in my best Girl Voice, asked them if they'd help.
...And they did. Behold, the power ofcheeseBoobs.
I only hope that I can finagle a similar miracle when I get back to New York. Right now, there's me and James the Roomie. There's a possiblealexsirkman squared. But that'd be later in the day. *jiggles boobies*
Help!
It feels nice to finally have everything loaded into the van. My next couple days will be lonely and exhausting.
And hopefully, of course, I will not end up, with my van, living down by the river. Or at the side of the road, dead from too much driving. It's likely (ideally just the latter) since my schedule looks like this:
Tuesday: Arrive in New York around 12 or 1, depending on how masochistic I am in the morning
Unload Van. Attempt not to die. Sleep somewhere. Clean room to make space for more junk.
Wednesday: Drive down to Maryland again to retrieve painting, dresser that mother desires in her Ohio abode.
Load Van with said items.
Start driving to Ohio. Will have already driven 4 hours that day. Attempt not to die while driving 6-7 more. Possibly will end up spending the night in Pennsyltucky.
Wednesday/Thursday: Will end up in Ohio. Would love to seelauren_lief on the way, and yuki_onna, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
grailquestion and justbeast while there.
Unload items. Attempt not to die.
Friday afternoon/Saturday morning: Start driving back to Baltimore with van. Return van to Enterprise. Take bus of Some Variety back to New York and hopefully have dinner withwoofa before she returns to the UK.
Yes, I'm insane. I'm tellingrosefox on AIM that I'm dying to lie in my bed and read all these wonderful books that I bought and that were bought for me over the last two weeks.
I promise myself, and all of you that this will be over soon. Within a week. Because any more, and I might die!
Die from missing all of you. And with that, I return to being that face you saw last night on the milk carton*
* this is a joke I blatantly stole frommgrasso, but I know he'll understand.
There were so many things to lift! And they were all so heavy! I consumed most of my non-lifting time with Nostalgic Triaging. I basically went through things I'd saved for a million years and decided whether they really needed to be saved anymore.
This of course included just about every letter I've ever received, or card, and even some notes I'd written in classes, or letters I'd written and never sent. Seriously, one day, I will have the best collection of memories ever. Not like I don't already.
Among the highlights was some stuff from 1986 (6 years old) -- a hand-written journal for school. In pencil and crayon.
"When a friend is angry at me, I spit at her." which was then erased (poorly) and replaced with "Say let's be friends again"
It also had an extensive section on the naughtiness of smuggling animals. I was six. Seriously, did someone think my line of work came out of left field? I was very amused in re-reading it all. Unsurprisingly, I kept most of that stuff.
Anyway, there came a point where I had no more things to triage. And I needed man-lifting. But those rascal men, they were (noticeably) missing! It was sad, and I was delayed. Poor
noranac has been waiting for her new bed for DAYS now! Today, however, Jim came over and was an absolute muscle-man champ, lifting and sweating and carrying things without my even asking. The TV, as many of you remember (or at the very least, your backs remember,) is FUCKING HEAVY. It's a 36" CRT Sony WEGA, and it weighs about 250 lbs with most of the weight in the front. Additionally, the hand holds are like daggers. Whoever designed the TV just forgot to attach the Wartenberg wheel.
There was no way even with Jim that the TV was getting into the van. But there were these two guys sitting out on a stoop across the street. So I hitched up the boobs, walked over, and in my best Girl Voice, asked them if they'd help.
...And they did. Behold, the power of
I only hope that I can finagle a similar miracle when I get back to New York. Right now, there's me and James the Roomie. There's a possible
alexsirkman squared. But that'd be later in the day. *jiggles boobies* Help!
It feels nice to finally have everything loaded into the van. My next couple days will be lonely and exhausting.
And hopefully, of course, I will not end up, with my van, living down by the river. Or at the side of the road, dead from too much driving. It's likely (ideally just the latter) since my schedule looks like this:
Tuesday: Arrive in New York around 12 or 1, depending on how masochistic I am in the morning
Unload Van. Attempt not to die. Sleep somewhere. Clean room to make space for more junk.
Wednesday: Drive down to Maryland again to retrieve painting, dresser that mother desires in her Ohio abode.
Load Van with said items.
Start driving to Ohio. Will have already driven 4 hours that day. Attempt not to die while driving 6-7 more. Possibly will end up spending the night in Pennsyltucky.
Wednesday/Thursday: Will end up in Ohio. Would love to see
lauren_lief on the way, and yuki_onna, grailquestion and justbeast while there. Unload items. Attempt not to die.
Friday afternoon/Saturday morning: Start driving back to Baltimore with van. Return van to Enterprise. Take bus of Some Variety back to New York and hopefully have dinner with
woofa before she returns to the UK. Yes, I'm insane. I'm telling
rosefox on AIM that I'm dying to lie in my bed and read all these wonderful books that I bought and that were bought for me over the last two weeks.I promise myself, and all of you that this will be over soon. Within a week. Because any more, and I might die!
Die from missing all of you. And with that, I return to being that face you saw last night on the milk carton*
* this is a joke I blatantly stole from
mgrasso, but I know he'll understand.
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