![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
May. 16th, 2004 04:45 pmAt the risk of sounding stupid later, I post this for You.
Things have been really rather wonderful. I'm still feeling the high of the party from last weekend; Apparently I missed some drama there, but I was just happy and ecstatic and full of punch.
As evidenced by my previous post, the day of the party was also heavenly.
I do fluctuate sometimes between wanting things I'm missing and being grateful for the things I have, and I somehow manage to balance into the grateful. I'm more in tune with myself than I've been in a really long time. When someone asks me "What's wrong?" -- I almost always actually know the answer. I don't always say it outright (hehe), but I know what it is.
I spent almost the entirety of yesterday in bed. Lovely, soft, inviting bed. Had perfect dialogues. The light streamed through the blinds. No one actually needs clothes. I didn't want to go anywhere. I almost didn't have to. There were vague plans to go to Best Buy, but before we realized it, it was 9 pm.
Dinner was at Armand's. I know more Trivial Pursuit than I think I do. Things are important, and fun to talk about. Reaffirmation was had. I must come to terms with the fact that it is almost always needed.
I had a driving lesson on Friday night. I didn't crash. And I did pretty well. I just drove slowly. The level of trust to let someone drive your car is intense. And appreciated. I was giddy.
I want to remember later on how nice this time has been. The time in general has flown by. Yes, there are so many new experiences. New happiness, new fears. Things that are new are always scary.
I feel like I am learning so much about myself; not all of it is good, and I question the reflection of myself in others' eyes, but this was the reason I needed to get away. Well, one of them. Every revelation comes with a new sense of self -- I also see that I may not always agree with the people I love the most. But I don't have to.
Anyway,
I spent the day at work, organizing the mess that Mie left behind. It really geared me up to start working hard again. I have so many things I want to do and institute.
I am also realizing how open the future is. Open and full of possibility.
This is my happy entry.
Things have been really rather wonderful. I'm still feeling the high of the party from last weekend; Apparently I missed some drama there, but I was just happy and ecstatic and full of punch.
As evidenced by my previous post, the day of the party was also heavenly.
I do fluctuate sometimes between wanting things I'm missing and being grateful for the things I have, and I somehow manage to balance into the grateful. I'm more in tune with myself than I've been in a really long time. When someone asks me "What's wrong?" -- I almost always actually know the answer. I don't always say it outright (hehe), but I know what it is.
I spent almost the entirety of yesterday in bed. Lovely, soft, inviting bed. Had perfect dialogues. The light streamed through the blinds. No one actually needs clothes. I didn't want to go anywhere. I almost didn't have to. There were vague plans to go to Best Buy, but before we realized it, it was 9 pm.
Dinner was at Armand's. I know more Trivial Pursuit than I think I do. Things are important, and fun to talk about. Reaffirmation was had. I must come to terms with the fact that it is almost always needed.
I had a driving lesson on Friday night. I didn't crash. And I did pretty well. I just drove slowly. The level of trust to let someone drive your car is intense. And appreciated. I was giddy.
I want to remember later on how nice this time has been. The time in general has flown by. Yes, there are so many new experiences. New happiness, new fears. Things that are new are always scary.
I feel like I am learning so much about myself; not all of it is good, and I question the reflection of myself in others' eyes, but this was the reason I needed to get away. Well, one of them. Every revelation comes with a new sense of self -- I also see that I may not always agree with the people I love the most. But I don't have to.
Anyway,
I spent the day at work, organizing the mess that Mie left behind. It really geared me up to start working hard again. I have so many things I want to do and institute.
I am also realizing how open the future is. Open and full of possibility.
This is my happy entry.
