(no subject)

Saturday 2:53 pm

Cultural norms are sometimes so funny -- I mean, what a job I have, and, according to the culture here, because I have a job, I should have a jumpsuit. You know, those full body, button-up-the-front getups in a particular color. Every man who has a job here sports one with pride, although they're almost always the same color, have no distinguishing logos or insignias, and can't be told apart.

That being said, what a day. I'll start with the positive, that Ben and I finished removing all the windows from the main chimp house today -- Essentially, I'm attempting to make the house more chimp-proof, and it involved removing the windows before the chimps broke them unintentionally. We planned to start painting as well but Ben had to go, and painting the main chimpanzee bedroom also involves having the chimps sleep next door while the paint dries, so we're trying to give the paint as much time as possible to dry.

So, tomorrow for painting.

Jungla came to pick me up this morning at 9 am (or in Congolese time, 9:45 am) and we headed over to the immigration office to get my visa sorted out. I was worried since technically, my eighth day expired last night at midnight (my previous visa was for 8 days). The director didn't seem to much care, but I did find out some interesting factoids.

What I had been told previous to arriving at the office:

• A month-long multiple entry visa for Congo cost $55
  
• I could get a separate sheet with my photo on it that I could use for stamps into and out of Congo.

Here was what was really true:

• A month-long multiple entry visa for Congo cost $95
  
• A separate sheet for stamps was only for people with 6-month visas, which cost $285.

Oh, and just because I love being talked down to, here's a snippet of conversation I had with the Immigration Director:
Please note that everything said by me is in Bad French™

Me: So wait, the visa is really $95?!
Guy: Yes, the visa for multiple entry is $95.
Me: So wait, what's the $55 visa?
Guy: If you want a single entry for a month it's $75
Me: My Ugandan visa for single entry for a month was only $30. Why is this one so much more expensive?
Guy: [Writes "Ouganda" on a piece of paper] See? This is Uganda [underlines it]
Me: Yea?
Guy: [Writes "DRC" on a piece of paper] And this is Congo. [underlines it]
Me: [contains urge to punch Immigration Director] Yea, uh, thanks for that.

Thank god Carol lent me some money this morning. I'd have been SO sunk. It actually got WORSE, because, to get a visa, it involved me leaving my passport AND my $95 at the Immigration Office. I was like "Can I get a receipt now for my money?" and he just said "No. I'll call your driver when the visa is ready."

GAH! I'm just praying he DOES call and I actually get my visa... Instead of losing my passport AND my money. *sighs*

Oh, and now my other knee is "smarting"... Okeysha was trying to eat soap out of a laundry bucket this morning, and I scolded her, so she smacked me really hard and bit my other knee (left), actually making a hole in my jeans AND breaking the skin...

So, anyone who sees my photos and are like "Aww, how cute, they're like a little animated Teddy Ruxpin! Let me get a pet chimp!!"

... Don't. It's very true to say that my perceptions have been very changed on this assignment.

Being a Brat

Sunday 3:01 pm

I'm sort of tired of everyone just thinking chimps are adorable and easy to take care of. People come here for an hour and snuggle and leave just as Etaito gets bitey.

And they all say "You have the best job in the world" ... and yes, this job is incredibly cool, absolutely.

But the best job in the world? I don't think I can say that in good conscience. I can't forget the trauma that these chimps have undergone.

When Balume, Etaito's favorite caregiver, took off this morning (he's "off" today as per the schedule), Etaito screamed, loudly, for an HOUR.

I was sort of isolationist today and just stayed in the house behind the bars, painting the main room. I'm glad I started without Ben, because he never showed up.

I hate to say this, but right now, today, I'm bored. I'm systematically watching TV shows one by one while I paint and do other things. I don't really have anyone to talk to - while I waited for the paint to dry, I made mixes today, and wrote a letter, but I'm just sort of ... stewing. And then I feel guilty, because I'm supposed to be enjoying "the best job in the world"...

Maybe tomorrow will be better. I miss yummy food.

A mood

Sunday 6:24 pm

Who knows what kind of mood I'm in, but I'm playing cards by myself and watching all of my romantic movies.

*sigh*

Herman's Laura's Head

Monday 6:56 am

I find that, when I'm not interacting with the chimps here, that I spend most of my alone time in my head. I relive funny memories, fun memories, fantasies ... really, just anything. Pathetically, I lie in my bed, and just start the mental-DVD.

But it makes me feel connected, and it makes me feel at home.

I combat the utter isolation by just throwing myself into my work.

So Rornry!

Monday 7:43 pm

Well, Ben showed up today, and we finished the entirety of the painting in the living room and the bathroom. I'm waiting until the paint there is dry before we start on my bedroom, since I'm already high off the paint fumes as it is.

It was nice to have Ben here, and his two friends invited me to dinner tomorrow night, which is nice. I don't really have a shower or a mirror, and I'm starting to wonder how manky I'm looking these days. I'm guessing it's all none-too-lovely.

I broke down and called Carol tonight, because wow, I was just really lonely. Pathetic, huh? I'll have to borrow more DVDs from Brad and Delphine, but being here is incredibly isolating, and not talking with anyone, or seeing anyone with a "familiar" face, you nearly start to feel like a non-person. If that even makes any sense to anyone.

It doesn't feel like the hopeless lonely that I used to feel even in MD, which I guess is a good sign. I've been doing an incredible amount of reading and working really hard. I've almost enjoyed spending most of my interactions with the chimps today through the grates of the windows, though, because it at least gives me a sense of control, which I don't usually have. Etaito used the doorknob today and ran in, knocking my laptop on the floor, and stealing my apples. He was already hepped up, and instead of trying to pick him up and get him out of the house, I was afraid, and instead I tried to herd him out of the house by closing doors. Bad, huh? He of course screamed MORE and eventually, Bonane came in to get him. Had it been any other chimp...

*shame*

OH, and today was the public holiday celebrating some assassination, so... in addition to the 5:30 am bongo drums, there was also a man on a bullhorn (or possibly a really bad PA system?) singing and yelling all day long. Why/how was Uganda so quiet?

Anyway, I'd probably be a lot more lonely without tons of funny home movies to watch and old emails to read. I'll probably head into the office on Wednesday to get emails, and I can't say I'm not really looking forward to that...

Bah!

Tuesday 3:03 am

No one wants to be up at 3 am. Well, sometimes people do. But not me. And certainly not now.

I had this terrible dream where my mother and I were on a speedboat going down this river (in my dream I think it was the Colorado river) and I think we were looking for someone.

Anyway, we go through this thick grove of trees, and come out on the other side, and there's Niagara Falls.

Wow, how beautiful! How amazing! Ack, watch those rocks and rapids.

I think that my mom will turn us around, and get us out of here, because eek! I can think of some places I just don't want to go in a speedboat. But as we near the falls, I'm not entirely sure that she's got control of the boat, and we're getting sucked in by the undertow.

I see a shadow ahead of us, and realize that we're heading into a mini-falls and I scream to her to turn around, and she says "It'll be fun!!" and suddenly we're going over it, free-falling for 3 or 4 seconds, and I can just hear her cackling laughter over the deafening roar of the falls.

I grasp the edging of the boat with my left hand and we go crashing into the water. We come up, but the boat is still submerged, and it feels like it wants to sink were I not holding onto it, under the water. The trouble is the edge of the falls is a good 20 feet above us, and we're just in this little maybe 30x40 foot depressed area surrounded by falling water. Like a little crater.

Who's going to see us? My mom asks me if I've got the boat, and I do, but how will we get it, and us, over the lip of the crater? Does anyone come to Niagara falls who would even be looking for stranded people?

Anyway, I awoke in a panic, and I figured after an hour of tossing and turning maybe if I wrote this dream down my brain would let me sleep.

(no subject)

Tuesday 10:47 am

After my sleepless night (up until I wrote down my dream) I ended up sleeping til past 9 am today. For someone who usually wakes up at 5:30, bongo drums notwithstanding, it was very late!

I had another weird unsettling dream as I woke up, involving reene living in my mother's NY apartment building, wearing a hot pink vinyl baseball cap and a black fur coat. She had a bandage on the left side of her nose, but so did I.

She was also leading that same little white dog on the hot pink leash. Weird. The leash matched her vinyl baseball cap.

The was more stuff to the dream, but nothing worth mentioning in a public forum.

Also, I changed my desktop today. Previously, having my life poster as my desktop was comforting, reassuring, etc etc.

But it really felt like it was time for a change. I've had that same desktop since August (it's on flickr) and recently it's just been -- mocking -- me. I can't spend even 20% of my time here wishing for my life at home. Or missing it. I've been complaining a lot these last couple days, and well, I'm feeling bad about that. Honestly, when I'm home, I'll wish to hell that I was here. Doing either will be a big waste of time, so I'm gonna try to nip it in the butt now.

Happiness is what you make it.

At a Crossroads...

Wednesday 11:36 am

Maybe it's because, as someone who read my most recent flurry of posts said, I'm going crazy and I'll have imaginary friends next... or maybe it's because I've had a lot of isolation time to mull things over... or maybe it's because being in Goma has increased my homesickness exponentially.

But, I've been thinking a lot about what comes next. In addition, of course, to being excited for my trip home at the end of March.

Previously, I'd sort of thought that I'd go back to Maryland and continue my path of working in design + primatology/conservation. But I've got to consider that perhaps I won't always find employment that blends those two components together. Sure, there are avenues that seem idyllic now, but are they really practical?

I think eventually, I'll have to choose which direction I'm going to go in. Primatology -- academia, science, lots and lots and lots of schooling

Or Design/PR/Marketing -- need more training, probably better paid but perhaps more soulless?

So, in the LJ tradition, I'll be indecisive and look to my friends for their potentially less-obscured vision of my future. Because right now, I'm feeling somewhat deluged with possibilities.

The Life Goal Poll!

Please note, that the timeline of these options is "when I get back from Uganda" as opposed to "sometime in my life"

[Poll #654699]

Anyway, I'd really appreciate people's opinions on the matter. Please try not to flame me for "leaving my life in the hands of others" since clearly, when it comes down to it, the choice is mine.

Oh, and I also discovered today that I'm getting reimbursed for all my various visa travails which is incredibly comforting, considering I'm po'ass right now. Phew!

The Money Game

My Cutest Little Demon Monster
Originally uploaded by amalthya.

Wednesday 2:57 pm

I'm not going to get spoiled by the ease of posting while I'm at the office, but wow, having something to say, writing it, posting it, all with a click - no waiting, or storing up entries -- it's fabulous!

Anyway, more photos have been uploaded to Flickr today so enjoy them!

I discovered why I'm so poor too. Of the $263 I exchanged at the Rwandan border, I'd spent $199 on various things for JGI and the chimps. Like, holy moly... that's a lot!

Delphine told me that I'd get my VISA money reimbursed, which is a huge relief, so I submitted my reimbursement form today and am crossing my fingers that I can actually pay Carol back and what-not. I feel awful, but I owe her like $65!

Some money things here just aren't very cool. We ordered in lunch, and I asked for macaroni with chicken and veggies, and I ended up with spaghetti with like, crunchy, half-cooked bits of chicken skin and giblets and who knows what other parts of the chicken -- I pulled out some of the more... "textured" bits. But the veggies were nowhere to be found!

"Ou est les legumes? Ce n'est pas des legumes!"

The kicker? It was $12. For spaghetti and miscellaneous-chicken-bits. Gross.