In The Office Again

Thursday 9:31 am


Well I'm in the office again today, which is sort of neat and spiffy because I don't have to wait until next week to see what people think about my future.

I'm basically just here to get my supplies purchased, and then it's back to the Chateau ASAP.

I'm freaking out a bit today, because the smallest two fingers on my left hand have been numb off and on. I think it's the way I'm positioning my hands on the keyboard and my day-long computer usage yesterday was probably a catalyst.

But I also thought about what it would be like to get MS at 25, and what it would mean to the rest of my life...

Additionally, I feel really sick today. That is all.

EDIT: After some preliminary research, I could have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome which sucks, but is a whole lot better than MS.

Clarification

Thursday 12:19 pm

I'm still waiting for my building materials. *looks at watch* Man, I'm so on Congolese time...

I really felt the need to mention that I was never planning on leaving my term here early, nor was I somehow intending to quit. The excitement in March I refer to is my visit to the States for Amy's wedding. It should be fabulous.

I am experiencing malaise, and I'll chalk some of it up to hormones, and lady-things, but overall, I just feel safer and better having a "plan" and knowing what's next.

I like plotting my own trajectories... it makes me feel in control. This experience was one of the first things I did with my life that was outside the consideration of boyfriends, girlfriends, or significant others. I came to Uganda for me. Maybe something trivial to others, but a big deal to me.

I originally left BU for Scott, Columbia for Justin -- I nearly moved to Milwaukee. Most of the major decisions in my life have been made to appease or satisfy my relationship at the time.

Now, being apart from that, I finally feel that urge to focus on the other parts of my life -- and I want to capitalize on that. I want to make plans while I'm free -- unencumbered -- independently minded -- so that no matter what happens, I know which direction I want to go when the time comes and I don't flip flop around, eventually flopping in the same direction as my obsession du jour.

Also, I'm not spending all my time here moping and bemoaning my losses. But, I'd somehow like to think that the heart of LJ is for bitching & complaining. Yes, I'm lonely, but does it consume me here? No, not as of yet. I've been working damned hard, and getting a lot accomplished, Congolese time or not.

I should also mention that my nutrition since I came here has been worse than poor, and it was suggested to me that it could be a cause of my general malaise. So, a self-note, Apples and Ramen are not a balanced diet. Not even if you drink chocolate milk once a week with them.

So, before I head back to the chimp house, I will go to Trameco and buy some tasty food ingredients.

Really, though, other than feeling tired, I'm feeling OK. I've got a good idea, thanks to my excellent friends, of what may be next for me, and that feels really good. So thanks for that, everyone, or for any new opinions that come in later too ;) I feel like all of this is more a symptom of being in my 20s than being in Congo.

And, to give everyone a laugh:

The Funniest Article About Africa Ever