(no subject)

Wednesday 9:48 am


Woa, it's March! When did that happen? During my course of writing, I've been re-reading a lot of my journal entries from like, 1995 and 1996. And I realized that today is the 10 year anniversary of my first kiss! Funny!

I slept better last night than I have in a really long time. It's probably because, after seeing my sad mattress on the floor, Rita went and had the project get me a real bedframe, sheets and a blanket. Oh, and pillows! Previously I'd been using my monkey airplane neck pillow, given to me by booksymagnifico, as my sole pillow.

And wow, having a bedframe is really underrated! Funny to think, but the chimpanzees were sleeping more luxuriously than I was before.
*****************
Yesterday, after I came back from the office, I was sitting out in the playfield as Etaito slept soundly, his face smushed into my tummy, snoring idly. I looked over and saw this bird, building a nest in the tree right outside the compound. The tree was vibrant, blooming flowers in this almost iridescent purple color.

And suddenly, Goma sort of... came alive to me. I'm not really sure how best to describe it, but I saw past the gray, harsh volcanic rocks and started noticing the living, breathing aspects.

I was like a Polly Pocket before, living in a a world that I perceived to be small, plastic and immutable. Me, walking in front of a blue screen showing some indeterminate locale, with the only part I identified as being "real" and "living" as me. It's a totally narcissistic viewpoint, but considering how many places I've seen, lived in, and stayed in the last 9 months I can certainly understand it.

There are so many concurrent flows of Goma, watching the various families of birds, little furry rodents and people, all trying to survive. I suddenly really liked Goma, and wondered how I would ever leave the chimpanzees. It all felt so real, and feeling the comfort and love of Etaito there, sleeping on my chest... this sounds horrible, and melodramatic, but I... I wasn't sure how I'd live without that. Would everything else feel second-best and ergo somehow meaningless afterwards?

The guy from the office came with the weekly food for the chimpanzees. Okeysha ran over to see what was going on and Etaito, who had slept through the entire entrance, suddenly awoke as he heard Okeysha doing the Food Call.

In the wild, if a chimpanzee or a group has found a particularly big fruit tree or something comparable, they will do this excited call, to alert other chimpanzees and probably also to let off some excitement from the find. It's a very tense time for wild chimpanzees, and, funnily, most of the males become erect with food-excitement.

A lot of times the excitement leads to fights in the wild. Bonobos, on the other hand, diffuse the excitement with sex.

Oh yes, food is an exciting time. Bonane and I went over to the fruit bag and were making the excited food calls. I even ate a banana between calls and god, it was just so much fun. Chimpanzees crawling all over me, calling back and forth to each other and to me, all of us eating bananas.

I'm really glad that Debby isn't coming until at least the 12th now.

Disconnected

Wednesday 11:46 am

I should mention too that I'm also feeling really disconnected. Usually, I'll linger in the office as long as possible, chatting and emailing and farting around. Maybe it's because I had the internet all to myself on Monday night, but when the network died at 4:30 pm yesterday, I just didn't even bother waiting for it to come back on.

I was like, "Oh well," and, mid-chat, I just closed down, packed up, and headed off. I was probably in the office (literally) for 24 hours. The shortest amount of time I've ever "breaked" from the Chateau Chimpanzee.

I shouldn't give myself too much credit, since I did stay online til 1 am on Monday night. It's not like I'm, say, going cold-turkey for 40 days for Lent. I don't know.

Just sayin'.

Chimpanzee Valkyrie Needs Food Badly!

Thursday 5:54 pm

First, a happy 20th birthday to emobus!!

It seems almost surreal as I sit out on the stoop, three chimpanzees all biting each other (and thankfully not me) as I listen to the brusk static of the loudspeaker of the church next door, having its evening mass.

Kanabiro and Etaito are wrestling, and it's especially nice to see since Kanabiro doesn't usually play with the other kids. When you spend a lot of time with the kids, you start to see their different personalities quickly -- but their different damage comes later. Because, well, it's really sad, but each one of these chimps really is "damaged goods" ... they've all already had horribly traumatic experiences. They just show it differently.

Etaito -- well -- his damage is more obvious.

But Kanabiro -- Faustin, one of the caregivers, describes her as "triste" -- sad. And you look at her, and vraimente... it's totally true. She isolates herself from the others, and, even when she's up in the tree, playing, she's always on her own.

Her favorite activities include sticking her fingers in your mouth and spinning around until she falls down. It's like a nightmare personals ad.

Etaito was very intent on playing with her nonetheless tonight. Kanabiro's fighting strategy was very evidently sorely lacking. This is my Kanabiro-Etaito Mortal Kombat Fight RPG:

>Etaito lunges at you, his teeth bared!

/put foot in his mouth

>Etaito bites your foot. You scream in pain and take 5 points of physical damage

/run away

>Etaito chases you as you run away and grabs your tender rear-end hairs. You scream and take another 5 points of physical damage

/hug Etaito

>Etaito seizes the opportunity of your embrace and bites you on your head. Take 15 points of physical damage. Chimpanzee Valkyrie needs food badly!!

/climb up pole

>Etaito pulls you down and you fall. Take another 2 points of physical damage.

/present for teh sex0r

>Etaito mounts you and has sex with you. Take 20 points of dignity damage. You have failed.

>Please insert more quarters to continue.

It was so funny and so pathetic all at once.


**************************

In very good news, everyone is wondering whether Shege really doesn't have TB. I told Balume and Faustin (her caregivers) to tell me immediately if she coughed (toux!) but as of yet, in a week she hasn't coughed once. Very good signs, and even Eddy, one of the veterinarians from the Mountain Gorilla Veterinary Project, is wondering himself whether she has it or not. I'm just praying that she doesn't have it.

Meanwhile, at the office, while the cat boss is away, the staff will play. In addition to having to fight with Olivier to get "permission" to have Carol's bag shipped to Uganda -- something Rita approved before she left, Beatrice, the office cleaning lady, who Rita instructed to do the laundry for the Chateau Chimpanzee, is now refusing to do the laundry of the caregivers -- because she has "too much to do."

She'd originally claimed too that she was too busy to do mine too, but that lie was quickly squelched. I don't envy anyone who's forced into a management position here -- ugh! I'm getting annoyed just being the only muzungu trying to get things done!

Additionally, I continue to be dirty. The water has been off in the Chateau for nearly 3 days straight now, so even if I wanted an icy cold, spasmodically pressured shower (which I totally do now) , I couldn't take one.

I will say that I'm nearing 13,000 words -- 32 single-spaced pages. Hurrah.

(no subject)

Friday 8:52 am

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my BRAINS!

I just wanted to mention that this morning, when I went to fetch my laundry off the line, Etaito jumped into my arms, and Okeysha jumped onto my back. There I was, navigating through the foliage, with two chimpanzees as I also held my woven basket and filled it with clean, dried clothing.

My life is so cool :)


Now, the question remains -- should I iron these clothes? Might there be mango flies here? Do I already have one on the back of my right arm? Ben's gf's mother said there were no mango flies here, but do I believe her?

Is it better to be safe than sorry? I think at the very least I'll do my underpants. Yeeeuch.

(no subject)

Friday 7:31 pm

We're enjoying the most fabulous and wild thunderstorm right now. Etaito, who was planning to sleep on the mattress outside, alone, came in and immediately started being a scared kid when the thunder struck.

Okeysha is always the first to fall asleep, but she wakes up at any little thing and immediately clings to the closest person.

Kanabiro refuses to sleep, and instead decides to eat the pee sheet that I labored over for so many hours. Or jump on me. Or jump on Okeysha, and wake her up.

In totally unrelated news, I don't think I can stand much more Fufu (the Congolese standard dish) or matoke or haricot (beans). Or even, for that matter, cous-cous. I'm trying to save the rest of my money for general curio-buying before I leave, and staying away from Trameco, but, as a result, instead of eating actual food, I just constantly chew gum that I bought at Trameco ages ago -- it has "Stim" in the title which makes me wonder if it's laced with crack caffeine, but it's sugar free. Of course, it tastes like I imagine Carmex lip-balm would, but it at least keeps my mouth busy and fools my stomach into thinking it's full of food.

I'm dying for Twizzlers, or Nibs, or Twix bars, or Reeses Pieces. Or turkey burgers. Oh turkey burgers!

It's nice when Faustin is here, because he always strives to take care of me and knows that I can't stand fufu and he makes me frites (french fries). He uses an oceans-worth of salt, but god they're still yummy. And he offers to make them. I'm hardly white obnoxious enough to ask that Bonane prepare me an entirely separate meal.

*groan of hunger*

Liars

Saturday 4:10 pm

Gaaaaahhhh I really am going stir crazy. Also, I think "Stimorol" the gum probably is full of CRACK. Crack crack crack!

Whomsoever said that ironing was fun was a big, cleanly-pressed liar. The chimps had food when I did upon arriving home, and now they're napping, and so I'm bobbling around my room. I decided that I should actually iron all of the clothes that were washed this week.

I'd rather spend the hour doing that than pick at some icky mango fly pustule for a month.

I always know when I'm really needing to reconnect, because I start re-reading old emails that were downloaded ages ago. Especially with the ones that still make me laugh, it feels like I'm reading them for the first time, when, in fact, I've had no "outside" contact for a week.

It's just one more night.

*sigh*

Sometimes, this is tough.

"In Goma, Nothing is Cheap But the Women"

Saturday 3:21 pm

I'll admit that the isolation is making me a little stir-crazy, but it doesn't prevent me from sending huge birthday wishes to booksymagnifico!!

And, because good things always come in pairs, happy birthday to vlamidala too!!

********************

Something wonky is going on with money at the office, but it was certainly surprising to me when the groceries-guy came back and told me the office didn't have the money to buy the food for the chimpanzees -- or the humans -- at the Chateau Chimpanzee. It was annoying too that Jean Bosco, the potentially questionable Head Accountant at the office -- told them to get the money from me.

It's hard not to resent being put upon, or to have people's welfare resting on your fiscally insecure shoulders. The fact is, I didn't have all the money they needed, so I gave them money for the chimpanzees' food, and today, around noon, I walked over to the Grand Lac to get lunch and dinner from my favorite Lebanese restaurant.

I've commented on it before, but there is such dichotomy in Goma. I walked across "the elephant graveyard" -- the area where the lava flow runs clear through the center of town and car husks lie there, stuck in time. The air was rank with the stink of burning, festering trash.

Over to my right was the remnants of what must have been an incredibly posh hotel. In front of it now was a stinking sea of trash. Reflected in the enormous bay windows at the side of the hotel, you could see small children with no shoes and scraps for clothing, rummaging through the sea with their small green plastic bags open, ready for whatever treasure they might unearth.

I was talking about the state of Goma with Wamud, the guy who owns the Lebanese restaurant. I was dying to speak English with someone -- anyone -- so I was really glad when he asked if he could sit down at my table while I waited for the food to be prepared. He didn't understand half of what I said, but I expressed the frustration to him about constantly being asked for money that, honestly, I don't have to give. He didn't believe me when I told him that I'd lived in Goma for two months for less than $1000.

Laughing, I received the sage advice that, in Goma, "nothing is cheap but the women" ...

It was really nice to sit down and chat with someone, although our conversation included the requisite question: "Are you married?"

I guess even for a Lebanese guy living in Goma it's a favorite pick-up line. *sigh*

I think that, aside from the chimpanzees, what makes Goma so endearing is the fact that these people, living in absolutely deplorable conditions, find joy in the smallest things. It's what drew me to the villagers in Kenya, but here things seem so much harsher.

Two days ago I saw this guy who had one of the traditional Congolese "bicycles" -- but he'd painted it white and had these enormous glittering silver tassels on the handlebars. He was singing, coasting down a big hill, his tassels fluttering in the wind.

There's also this bent-over old lamppost on the way to the elephant graveyard. I'm sure the lava bent it in the heat, but now it's pretty much parallel to the ground. It sort of bobs up and down, and most every time I pass by, there are kids on it, using it as sort of a pseudo-see-saw.

I really enjoy my daytime walks through Goma, although it's often difficult to keep your eyes off the ground -- volcanic terrain is pretty uneven, and, as most of you know, it doesn't take volcanic rubble to make me fall down.

I'm going to head to Gisenyi tomorrow for some respite -- plus, I really want to swim in Lake Kivu. Then I'll head into the office on Monday and sleep there Monday night. With any luck, I'll get paid back on Tuesday for the money I've doled out. As much as I've enjoyed finally learning to communicate with Bonane, and the various door-security guards (I actually managed to explain evolution in broken French!), I could really use someone else to talk to.

So, next week (since this won't get posted until Monday), if anyone feels like calling me, I'll be really grateful. I'm 7 hours ahead of EST -- and the number is posted in the top entry of the page.

(no subject)

Sunday 2:16 pm

Happy Birthday to my Aunt Margaret!!

Well, after all my stewing and impatience yesterday, it's nearly half past two and I'm still at the Chateau Chimpanzee. I had this funny dream last night that, instead of writing one of my trademarked Emo-mails to a person I was having issues with, that I'd make them a webcomic. A webcomic, which, of course, is masking the emo!! Mua hahaha!!

And of course, the heroine is Uncertain and Insecure Girl. I got so into making the comic that I didn't even care about going to Gisenyi or taking a bath and, well, I just finished and I'm totally tickled with myself.

I'll probably only show the finished product to the recipient, but I did make a little banner for the general public that I'll upload tomorrow.

Edit: Here it is:



There's something so therapeutic about being creative, and well, I'm really disappointed that I don't do much drawing on paper nowadays. The upside is that my computer-drawing skills, even with the touchpad mouse, have become very pleasing and, when I made the caricature of the person in question, I laughed for a good 10 minutes at how excellent my likeness was.

Or how i could grab an expression with just a little ctrl-click rotating of one eyebrow. Woo!

On that note, I really should get to Gisenyi now. Considering that if I don't, I'll be here all day and starve to death.

Off to pack I go! See you all online tomorrow!

Brr!!

Monday 7:46 am

The very carpets of the Kivu Sun seem to emanate warmth.

Which is good when you're freezing, running through the hallways in naught but your soaking wet swimsuit because, when you go swimming at 7 am, the man with the key for the closet where the towels are kept hasn't yet arrived.

(no subject)

Monday 11:04 am

I'm totally thinking that I shouldn't make another post, considering the guilt I feel for my "Laura f-list dump" on Mondays as it is.

But I'm sitting here in the office and, well, once again, the man with the key -- Jean Bosco, the accountant -- who has the internet power supply in his office and turns it off while he's gone -- is not here.

He got a flat tire, which means that I'm sitting here, offline, waiting for him to get to work. No one else has the key to his office. I can't help but be annoyed that this is an enormous waste of my time.

I did, however, have a totally glorious morning and I made sure to use all of the additional-cost things at the Kivu Sun. Breakfast when you're not a guest is $12 and swimming is $10. So, as a guest, I partook in both.

They didn't have any strawberries sadly but they DID have salami and tastee cheese and juice and danishes with icing and omelettes and rice krispies and I'll admit fully that I stuffed myself.

It was slightly discomforting when the waiter, named "Innocent" told me about his friend who was trying to sell white people a chimpanzee. I somehow convinced him to turn his friend into the ICCN by baiting him with my phone number, so that he could call me and tell me about it. He won't know that I probably won't be here by the time he calls, but I'm glad that some awful chimp trafficker is going to be caught.

I tried to explain to "Innocent" how violent and horrible the whole escapade is, but I don't think anyone really understands.

Ah well. I almost didn't want to leave the Kivu Sun at all. And, sitting here in this warm office, I sort of wish I hadn't!