Ex-travaganza
Dec. 19th, 2007 04:36 pmThere comes a point in the holiday season where you just break. I'm reminded of that Family Guy where Lois goes insane and starts telling people to shove things up their Holly Jolly butts.
It really doesn't help that everything is coinciding with the end of school, my period and what should typically be a happy time.
But I'm finding myself disillusioned. I spent so much time being away from my friends that I now find myself disconnected. And I separated myself from them in order to do better in school, which clearly was a bust.
I'm getting penalized spitefully by a particular teacher, despite my A+ presentation, he is refusing to rectify the shitty grade he gave me and I've had this goddamned French bullshit hanging over my head all semester.
I was so ready to reconnect, but it seems like everyone is missing. I criticized Fred for having such a low opinion of people, but I'm not sure why I defended them. I feel like most people have such serious strings attached to their friendships, and I'm just in no mood to even keep trying to maintain them. If they want to ditch me once I'm not giving them what they want/expect of me, then fuck them.
Additionally, I tried to hold another Secret Santa this year at Montien because last year had been so easy and fun and everyone seemed to enjoy it. But most people didn't respond, so I just cancelled it. And I'm thinking of not even going tomorrow night. I don't have the energy, honestly. If people don't want to celebrate, fuck them too.
Apologies to people who didn't incite my vitriol and are having to read it anyway.
I am feeling slightly better during the past hour when I discovered that one of my Christmas presents from Adam is a squishable penguin.
I'm also excited for the EBHS Christmas party tonight. I'm going to enjoy the night and go home and finish everything else up tonight and tomorrow during the day.
I'm thinking of just bailing on Montien tomorrow and going down to Maryland for some R&R. It may mean missing Friday night plans but I'm just feeling so unsure.
And did I mention shitty? I need to go lie down.
It really doesn't help that everything is coinciding with the end of school, my period and what should typically be a happy time.
But I'm finding myself disillusioned. I spent so much time being away from my friends that I now find myself disconnected. And I separated myself from them in order to do better in school, which clearly was a bust.
I'm getting penalized spitefully by a particular teacher, despite my A+ presentation, he is refusing to rectify the shitty grade he gave me and I've had this goddamned French bullshit hanging over my head all semester.
I was so ready to reconnect, but it seems like everyone is missing. I criticized Fred for having such a low opinion of people, but I'm not sure why I defended them. I feel like most people have such serious strings attached to their friendships, and I'm just in no mood to even keep trying to maintain them. If they want to ditch me once I'm not giving them what they want/expect of me, then fuck them.
Additionally, I tried to hold another Secret Santa this year at Montien because last year had been so easy and fun and everyone seemed to enjoy it. But most people didn't respond, so I just cancelled it. And I'm thinking of not even going tomorrow night. I don't have the energy, honestly. If people don't want to celebrate, fuck them too.
Apologies to people who didn't incite my vitriol and are having to read it anyway.
I am feeling slightly better during the past hour when I discovered that one of my Christmas presents from Adam is a squishable penguin.
I'm also excited for the EBHS Christmas party tonight. I'm going to enjoy the night and go home and finish everything else up tonight and tomorrow during the day.
I'm thinking of just bailing on Montien tomorrow and going down to Maryland for some R&R. It may mean missing Friday night plans but I'm just feeling so unsure.
And did I mention shitty? I need to go lie down.