Ex-travaganza

[amalthya]

There comes a point in the holiday season where you just break. I'm reminded of that Family Guy where Lois goes insane and starts telling people to shove things up their Holly Jolly butts.

It really doesn't help that everything is coinciding with the end of school, my period and what should typically be a happy time.

But I'm finding myself disillusioned. I spent so much time being away from my friends that I now find myself disconnected. And I separated myself from them in order to do better in school, which clearly was a bust.

I'm getting penalized spitefully by a particular teacher, despite my A+ presentation, he is refusing to rectify the shitty grade he gave me and I've had this goddamned French bullshit hanging over my head all semester.

I was so ready to reconnect, but it seems like everyone is missing. I criticized Fred for having such a low opinion of people, but I'm not sure why I defended them. I feel like most people have such serious strings attached to their friendships, and I'm just in no mood to even keep trying to maintain them. If they want to ditch me once I'm not giving them what they want/expect of me, then fuck them.


Additionally, I tried to hold another Secret Santa this year at Montien because last year had been so easy and fun and everyone seemed to enjoy it. But most people didn't respond, so I just cancelled it. And I'm thinking of not even going tomorrow night. I don't have the energy, honestly. If people don't want to celebrate, fuck them too.

Apologies to people who didn't incite my vitriol and are having to read it anyway.

I am feeling slightly better during the past hour when I discovered that one of my Christmas presents from Adam is a squishable penguin.

I'm also excited for the EBHS Christmas party tonight. I'm going to enjoy the night and go home and finish everything else up tonight and tomorrow during the day.

I'm thinking of just bailing on Montien tomorrow and going down to Maryland for some R&R. It may mean missing Friday night plans but I'm just feeling so unsure.

And did I mention shitty? I need to go lie down.

Comments

[sinboy.livejournal.com]

Last years secret Santa was fun, I just couldn't make this one. Perhaps you could do a secret valentines party?

[amalthya.livejournal.com]

That's a nice idea. Thanks for letting me know about Thursday, too.

[madbard.livejournal.com]

This is probably a bad time to say: "Hi. I'm a random stranger who thought your journal looked rather interesting, so added you to my friends list." (But it's true nonetheless.)

[amalthya.livejournal.com]

Actually, it's a really nice time to say it. Thanks for the add!

[madbard.livejournal.com]

No need to thank me. It's well past time I had a skull cataloguer on my friends list.

[insheepsclothng.livejournal.com]

Friend cross-pollination! w00t!

[drdelirium.livejournal.com]

Sorry I didn't follow up on our emails, but while I'm not participating in the Secret Santa, I *am* planning to hit Montien tomorrow nite. I understand if you feel like ditching it, tho -- lemme know if sum time next month would be good to meet up?

*mwah*

[amalthya.livejournal.com]

I'm still undecided on tonight :) I mean, I could use some holiday cheer, but the effort of going downtown is also huge :)

And I'd love you to come by and see my new place next month!

pittsburgh?

[lauren-lief.livejournal.com]

you can always escape to the 'burgh! Ringo and I will be here to cuddle and give gifts!

Re: pittsburgh?

[amalthya.livejournal.com]

Well you know that I'm going to try and make it towards you while I'm in Ohio with my mom, right?

[gatsbys-regret.livejournal.com]

*hug*