amalthya

Wednesday 3:54


Monsoon Rain + No Car = delayed departure.

Also, I got emails asking me why I feel the need to question myself after everything that I've accomplished... But the fact is, that part of me feels like I've failed.

I mean, this was the last hurdle. Carol gone, Rita gone, Delphine/Brad gone, Ben/Stuart gone... finally, after all my strutting and and parading and showing off all my personal growth, this last month was sort of like the graduation test.

And ... well... I failed. I mean, look at my recent entries? Or comics? Or worries? Or paranoias? Sure, not all of them have been public for all to read but honestly, I've become what I feared, a sort of caricature of my regular silly-neurotic self.

I mean, no wonder it's unappealing to others, because it's unappealing to me. Not having anyone to talk to? Relying on the internet for my social stimuli? It's getting to me, despite however strong or independent I've become.

I'm living inside my own head, so it's really unsurprising to think that I'm having trouble relating to others or having them relate to me.

Anyway, that's my rationalization. Now that the rain is letting up, I really do need to get back...