Funny Musings
May. 28th, 2007 12:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amalthya- There is a little man on a moped who patrols the sidewalk along the beach, and his little moped has two little vacuum cleaner hoses. He vacuums up the dog poop on the sidewalk along that beach. Not trash. Just Poop. That is his job.
- I'd thought that the fact that there is a Cannes Bentley here that sells nothing but Bentleys to the elitists of Cannes was indicative, but I have to say that walking past the Hello Kitty Victoria Couture shop really opened my eyes.
- All the people who drive here seem to know one another, and make a point of dangling out of their car/bus windows to greet one another at intersections. Whoever said the French are unfriendly needed to be more specific -- they're unfriendly to the non-French.
- Every single advertisement for food has a disclaimer that food makes you fat, and you need to exercise in order to be healthy. I wonder if it undermines the corporations, who strive to convince you that "Twix is delicious!!" while a little scroll bar, white on black, tells you sternly that Twix is naughty and full of fat. mangerbouger.fr
- There are an exceptional number of very hot young girls here. Very hot, and very young. I would imagine most women coming here would be intimidated by it. But I noticed that there seem to be no hot women over 25-30. Clearly, the only rational explanation is aliens. Aliens have come to France, stolen the hot women to breed hot alien hybrids, and left nothing but the ugly French women who live past their 30s.
- There is porn on regular channels on the TV. And because channels seem to duplicate themselves, it's actually on 3 channels. The same thing. During the day, it's usually just women undressing very slowly, on repeat. There's even porn on Sundays, and it's quite funny to scroll past the channel showing Catholic mass and end up on Porn.
Often times, it's dubbed over American porn. Who dubs Porn? Can you imagine that on someone's resume?Job Experience
Voiceover Artist, Chocolate Hood Pussy 12, Skank #2
Special Skills: Convincing French Orgasms (Ooo la la!) - They port the strangest American shows here. They've got Law & Order: Criminal Intent except it's called NEW YORK. They also seem to be fond of Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, and, of all things, Nip/Tuck. All dubbed into French.
The funniest thus far has been Les Simpsons which is not only dubbed into French, but the VO actors are clearly hired for their similarities to the original family's voices. They're nearly all dead on -- the Homer, Bart and Lisa especially, but the Marge just CRACKED me up. First of all, Julie Kavner sounds pretty unique, but this woman trying to do some sort of Kavner impression, in French, was too much. Most of the supporting cast sounded completely weird and foreign.
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Date: 2007-05-28 02:55 pm (UTC)Nothing is funnier than The Simpsons dubbed into Czech.
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Date: 2007-05-28 04:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-28 05:48 pm (UTC)Voiceover Artist, Chocolate Hood Pussy 12, Skank #2
Special Skills: Convincing French Orgasms (Ooo la la!)
This gave me a total smirk ;) And I think it'd be AWESOME if I put that on my resume. It'd be a good test to see how many actually read those things ;)
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Date: 2007-05-28 05:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 05:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 05:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-30 07:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 03:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 05:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 05:30 pm (UTC)Or even just to say "Ooo la la!" like a French
Porn StarPorn Dubber